 Photo Cred. Bowen Lan As if my mothers did not already give you a talking to that you’ll never forget back then when it happened, I thought you should know: You lost. You lost when you thought public schools would always value your job; you lost when you spat in the face of the funding that paid for the instrument you took away from my hands; you lost when you told a black girl what she couldn’t do and thought it would stick.
I’m sure you figured you taught me a lesson: Not to be too passionate, too ambitious, to do what I’m told within the parameters Im given. Maybe you thought you were teaching me time management when I sat in class with no instrument, while the other students prepared for the concert I wouldn’t participate in. You helped everyone tune their instruments but left mine in the closet and didn’t allow me to get it. I bet you thought you were teaching me about commitment... you didn’t. What you taught me was that art always wins, despite the systems it’s forced to operate in. I got my own my viola today. Took over 10 years but my 25 year old hands still know her, like old friends separated but determined to meet again... like you were determined to underestimate me. Again, let me reiterate: you lost.
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 A lot happened during Black Hixtory Month 2019… I almost feel like I needed this month to process everything. As I reflect on Black hixtory as it was written, told, and as it continues to redefine itself, I am met with a tension that I hold since college. It’s a dissonance that I have not been able to articulate until finding the language in graduate school and yet, I have not settled on a solution in my spirit to this day. I am disillusioned with the way mainstream Black leadership is presented and promoted.When I say mainstream Black leadership I am referring to the Black voices that get the most attention when speaking on Black issues. These are the voices that become reputable sources for important updates when a crisis to the Black community occurs, no questions asked. These are the voices that are invited on CNN and to press conferences to speak, debate, or be provoked on topics of Black life and justice. These are the voices that are quoted constantly as the solution or the right framework for seeking justice without question. And ironically, their words are very marketable soundbites. These voices tend to come from the same type of bodies/identities.My world as a Black woman in this country includes many diverse bodies and I feel ready to complicate the conversation of Black justice and liberation. There was a time when I was not ready; when I was too traumatized to even questions these “leaders”. I am ready now to be uncomfortable, not validated by sensationalism, capitalism, and distractions. I feel called to seek out voices that I have yet to hear. These are voices that aren’t given the mic, which is intentional. These highly visible leaders are also intentionally placed and their placement feeds their personal desires and they start to sound like everyone else. James Baldwin said it best in his essay, The Harlem Ghetto: "...The Negro leaders have been created by the American scene, which works against them at every point… and the best they can hope for is ultimately work themselves out of their jobs… On the other hand, one cannot help observing that some Negro leaders and politicians are far more concerned with their careers…” So where does that leave us? How can we escape the “American scene” and seek inspiration that does not stubbornly sit in the past, but rather seeks past, present, and a future imagination? This is my self-reflection, as well a question to YOU. I am seeking inspiration and collaboration outside of the context of how America presents and manipulates leadership on Black bodies. I am no longer interested in solutions. Yes, that means I am not holding my breath for reparations. I want/need something different.
 Photo Cred: Ryan Christof To my sisters in war
(Because sometimes that’s what it feels like) I salute you Not in the way countries do To validate their crimes soaked in honor and the blood of others I salute you the way our ancestors do I offer I notice I make room For your beauty and courage That is also dripping In a political context That tries to convince us to forget our origins Today Dancing to the djembe, Sweating freedom Heart in rhythm As I bow to the music-maker Hands out... I also bow to you Your music And the sound you make to create the revolution we have to compose daily It keeps me stomping moving flowing You all inspire me to continue manifesting dust storms from my birthplace  It’s interesting taking a course in specialized areas as a student in an interdisciplinary program... Tonight the epiphany landed: I’m taking this child and adolescent psychopathology course not as an aspiring therapist but as an evolving healer...
I came into the course ready to deconstruct a lot of the ideologies, experiments to disrupt the status quo of psychology-the business of it, as it exists today when considering children and adolescents ... I went into the class ready to discuss the intersections of oppression, identity, colonization, and capitalism embedded in the business of therapy from assessment to diagnosis to treatment. I was excited to consider the many alternative healing practices that are emerging that do not subscribe to the way things have always been done, hoping to envision something entirely new... I was ready to interrupt those common notions of what/how child adolescents develop and heal. I was ready to create new language to surround them. I was ready to ask the questions that scared me or were half-formed in my mind, seeking clarity and even more questions... But tonight in class, while I was listening to the professor refer to us as therapists and introduce certain aspects of psychology and psychiatry that need to be accepted to even exist in the field... my spirit knew that to be a therapist would only honor a slice of my intention when it comes to healing... I respect the students and professor who were in the room, I respect therapists and therapist-in training (as a person who benefits from therapy myself) AND... I know tonight that I am not enrolled in that course for the same reason as them and my journey requires something different... #healerintraining  to that stillness
that silence that looked and tasted sweet that amplified itself in every leaf shaking their past away across the lake back to that pause back to that sigh back to that space in between tree trunks and lake bottoms between then and now between now and there I go back I can always go back
These blog posts are for the weather deniers who never check the weather before walking outside. Luckily, meteorology is one of my muses and my co-workers supported my condensed weather updates for NYC so much, I decided to share them. You're welcome.
I hope everybody stayed warm on Monday because...
that was a mess... But you knew it was coming so I'm sure you were in better shape than most! I know some of y'all are asking... What happened to the snow? What happened to the "storm"?
WHAT HAPPENED WAS... temperature won this fight. Because of the high temperatures from the south, we received rain, no snow. The winds were still furious and in some parts snow did make an appearance... But all in all, the temperature saved us... until Monday of course. I was so tempted to email you all when the Winter Storm Watch turned into a Winter Storm Advisory. That is when I knew the storm was not going to pack the same punch. For the record, there are 3 levels for winter storms notices issued by the National Weather Service (NWS). Here are my translations:
Winter Storm Advisory: I ADVISE that you look at the weather when you're free, just in case Winter Storm Watch: Please check the weather because it might affect you in the next 48 hours Winter Storm Warning: The storm is coming!! Get your sh*t together and buckle up kids!! The NWS has very specific criteria for when these are issued, which can be problematic when conditions don't exactly add up. But if you saw a Winter Storm Watch be demoted to a Winter Storm Advisory this past weekend, you could guess that Winter Storm Harper wasn't coming for NYC with her A game.
Moral of the Story:
Weather will continue to be a mysterious process to those who continue to not pay attention. But What About This Week?
The good news: It will heat up this week! the forecast calls for a high of mid-50's on Thursday! Although, we will get some rain from Winter Storm Indra.
The bad news: The arctic air will be back and with that comes chances of snow or a disgusting mix of snow and rain, so don't get too comfortable with the higher temperatures because come this weekend... More good news: The winds are not going to be nearly as brutal as they were Monday... for now.... That's all I got! Will update you when I know more! Have a great day!
This condensed weather report is informed by my constant research of weather updates, trends, and news on the Weather Channel. I am only a meteorologist in spirit. Check with the Weather Channel or your local weatherperson (my favorite is Pix11's Byron Miranda) if you want to double check my work.
These blog posts are for the weather deniers who never check the weather before walking outside. Luckily, meteorology is one of my muses and my co-workers supported my condensed weather updates for NYC so much, I decided to share them. You're welcome.
Winter Storm Harper: It's Now a Game of Chance
And what I mean by that is now we have to pay close attention to the temperature to help determine how much snow we are going to get. That first storm passed over us with just a few flakes. Winter Storm Harper will be coming in Saturday late afternoon/evening and will be bringing around 6 hours of snow (maybe more). But when will it turn to rain is the main question meteorologists are trying to predict. Let's look at the models (via Pix11 News):
This also depends on the winds and which direction they're shifting. If wind comes from the south: high temperatures and more rain. If winds come from the north: lower temperatures and more snow. It's all a gamble right now. The weather is going to do what the weather is going to do. Moral of the story: This is not the time to look at your weather app real quick for the weekend and pretend you know what's coming because anything can happen.
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| HUGE THANK YOU to the following people for taking the time and energy to be on this journey with me: Ademola Davis See Bio Jaba Dey a Bengali women living and working in NYC, and is taking the experience of being a brown immigrant in America one day at time Q Hailey a creative spirit dedicated to justice and freedom that is both physical and spiritual |  Ademola Davis (Ade) is a poet, writer, performer, singer/songwriter, photographer, videographer, and artistic force creating and educating in NYC. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, Ade's passion for the artistic form and investing in its boundaries and possibilities goes above and beyond the traditional and expected. Instagram: @theprincepoet FB: @PrincePoet "As a poet, my poetry is in my writing, singing, acting, whatever I can put myself into, my poetry is in. As a Creator, I'm still a poet" |
